Kaddarar ramlah book 2 complete - Chapter 43

haɗin ikon zuciya biyu ne,haɗin mutunci, kulawa, natsuwa,da irin soyayyar da ake yi cikin silk, gold accents,da nutsuwar da kawai manyan zukata ke iya tsarewa.

Ya koya min cewa akwai banbanci tsakanin wanda kike so, da wanda zuciyar ki take durƙusawa gare shi ba tare da jin kunya ba,

kamar yadda al’umma ke durƙusa wa sarki da girmamawa. Kuma wannan shi ne Asad gare ni masoyina, aminina, mijina,da kuma sarkina a duniyar soyayya.

PARIS

RAYUWAR DA BAN TAƁA MAFARKI BA.

Gidansa kuwa a Paris, ba gidan mutane bane.

Universe ne.Duniya ce da aka gama santala ta domin mutum ɗaya mai daraja Asad.

Motocin suka tsaya a gaban wani private avenue da take bushewa da hasken tituna masu launin gold-amber, bishiyoyi masu lankwashe kamar zane, sannan wata babbar ƙofar iron-steel ta buɗe da sautin da ya kama da kiɗan violin.

Asad ya matso kadan, ya matsa hannunsa ya jiƙa yatsuna a cikin nawa,yana cewa cikin murya mai sanyi “Welcome home, my heart.”

Ban san lokacin da gabana ya fadi ba.

“Home”? A Paris? Ni?

Muka shiga cikin harabar,sai na yi shiru gabadaya shiru na mace da ta shiga wani wuri da bata taba cinematography irin nasa ba.

Glass atrium ne sama.Rufin gidan ba rufi bane sky in Paris ne.Ana iya ganin taurari suna walƙiya sama.

A tsakiyar living room kuwa, akwai Ƙaton chandelier mai launin crystal-ice,Carpet ɗin Persian da aka yi da hannu, Wani babban piano mai launin jet-black, Hasken fitilu masu laushin zinari suna rawa a jikin bango, Ƙamshin vanilla-santalwood yana yawo tamkar iska mai shakatawa Na tsaya ina kallon komai kamar wacce aka ɗora cikin fim.

Asad ya matsa baya na, ya riƙe kaina da wayamarsa,yana shafa gefen kumatuna da laushi.“Why are you quiet, Ramie…?

Kamar kina jin tsoro.”Na lumshe ido.

“Ba tsoro bane… , I’m just… overwhelmed.”

Ya yi murmushin da ya fi komai sanyi.

Murmushin namiji da yake jin mace ta narkar da bugun zuciyarsa.Ya jawo ni a jikinsa,

yana ƙara janyo hannuna kamar zai ɓoye ni daga dukkan clay da duniya ƙe da shi.

“Kin saba da soyayya cikin sauri,” ya furta cikin raɗa.“Kin saba da duniya ta.

Kin saba da zuciyata. Kina tunanin zai ɗauki lokaci?Zuciyar da Allah ya halicci Rabin ta… tana ganin rabinta nan da nan.”

Na ji hawaye masu sanyi sun cika idona saboda yadda kalamansa suka tsaya a zuciyata sosai.Ya share hawayen da yatsunsa cikin laushi ba da hanzari ba.Ba da tasbihi ba.

Ba da zafi ba.Sai da irin kulawar da ke narkar da zuciya.“Ki daina kuka,” ya ce.

“Ina so ki ji dadi a Paris.Na kawo ki nan ne domin ki ga yadda nake ganin ki kamar princess da ta fito..” Ya kama kaina da hannayensa biyu,yana sauke numfashi mai zafi kusa da gashin kaina.“Let me show you your room.”Muka shiga ɗakin.

Dakin ba daki bane…Garden of Heaven ne.

Na tsaya a bakin gado, zuciyata cike da nutsuwa da wani nauyi mai dadi.Asad ya tsaya a bayana.Na ji hannunsa ya durƙusa a kafaɗata a hankali,

ya kusanto sosai har numfashinsa ya buge min wuya.“Ramie…” muryarsa ta yi zafi, mai tsabta, mai nutsuwa.“Ina so ki ji dadin wannan wuri…kamar yadda ki ka sa zuciyata ta huta.”

Na juya a hankali,ya tsaya yana kallona kamar jarumi cikin fitilar soyayya.Ni kuma na furta cikin sanyi,muryar da ta fito ba daga makogi ba daga zuciya“ ni kam ban san me zan ce ba.”Ya yi murmushi, ya kama fuskata da hannayensa biyu“Don’t say anything.

Just stay…Cikin jikina.Cikin zuciyata.

Cikin wannan gidan da nayi kawai dan ki.”Sai ya jawoni a jikinsa,ya rungume ni da irin hugging ɗin da yake narkar da kasusuwa,

ya lulluɓe ni da zafin jikinsa.

*****

Rayuwar mu ta dawo daidai a Paris, cikin natsuwa da kwanciyar hankali.Na cigaba da karatuna a makaranta, ina tafiyar da kasuwancina a gefe, ina kuma koyon salon rayuwa.

A duk lokacin da Asad ya dawo daga meetings ɗinsa,sai ya tsaya a ƙofar ɗaki,

yana jingina da kofa,yana kallona da littafi a hannuna,yana murmushin da duniya ce ke gani ba, ni kaɗai nake da wannan damar.

Ya ce cikin muryar da ke sa cikina kintsawa“Come here… student of my heart.” Na ɗaga pillow na jefa masa cikin shagwaba.

Shi kuma sai ya yi dariyar ya nufo ni cikin tsanani amma da natsuwa,ya rungume ni ya ɗaga ni sama kamar jaririya.“DanAllah, ka sauke ni!” Na yi ƙoƙarin tserewa.

Ya manna fuskarsa a wuyana,ya ce cikin murya mai raɗa“Sauke ki? Ina?

You’re mine.”

*****

Da Nawal ta haihukyakkyawar yarinya mai kama da nawal sak muka koma gida domin a yi suna. Gidan ya cika da annashuwa, iyalai, kida, murya da murmushi. Amma a cikin jama’a, Asad ya zauna kusa da ni kamar ba shi da wani wuri dabam a duniya. Duk wanda zai zo ya zauna kusa dashi sai ya ce masa“Ba kusa da matata ba. Find your place.”

Firdausi da sauran ‘yan uwa suka shiga tsokanata Na yi murmushi kawai.

****

Bikin ya kasance alfarma mai kayatarwa.

Munje daga ni har Asad cikin hadin kaya da ya zaba da kansa. Shi ya kawo min rigar, ya duba min jewelries, ya tsaya yana kallona tamkar zai yanke hukunci.

A wajen jama’a yana rike da hannuna kamar wani king da ya samu queen ɗinsa.“Stay close.”Ya faɗa cikin sanyi amma da ikon da ya saba yi da shi.Idan ya ga wani namiji ma ya sake kallona har sau biyu,sai ya matsa kusa ya murza hannuna, yana faɗa cikin ƙasa da murya“I’m watching.” Soyayyar Asad ta waje ita ce protection + pride.Soyayyar da mu kaɗai muka sani kuma? Wani irin natsuwa ne, mai shigowar zuciya ba tare da bari ta fita ba.

Ayshatu kuwa?

Allah kaɗai ya san me yake damunta.

Ko ina ta gan ni sai tayi murmushin ta ɗaga gira, ta harare ni Ni dai ban shiga damuwa ba.

Na girmama fushinta domin na san ba kowa ne ke iya jure ganin farin cikin wani ba.

Hatta Hajja wata rana ta ce min“Ki daure, Ramlah.Raina a tsaye yake da yarinyar nan.”

Na yi shiru. Domin damuwar Ayshatu ba ta da muhimmanci a zuciyar Asad ko wuri a cikin gidana.

Da muka kammala al’amuranmu cikin gida,

muka yanke shawarar komawa Paris

abin da Asad ya kira“Our quiet paradise.”

Mun koma birnin cikin natsuwa,

domin a huta daga hayaniyar masarauta,

mu zauna mu gina rayuwarmu cikin nutsuwa da soyayya.

A lokacin ne na fahimci cewa Soyayyar Asad bata tsaya ga agogo ba,bata tsaya ga lokaci ba,bata tsaya ga wuri ba ta iya binni duk inda na tafi.

Da muka koma Paris, na sake samun nutsuwar da ban dade ina nema ba.

Wannan ba kawai canjin birni ba ne

sabuwar rayuwa ce, rayuwa ta biyu, wacce ta zo da salo, da tsarki.

Soyayyar Asad ta wuce kasancewar mijina.

Ta zama gida na, mafakar da zuciyata ke komawa a duk lokacin da duniya ta yi nauyi.

Ko yaushe dare ya sauka, ya dawo gida daga meetings, zai same ni a palournmu mai cike da kulawa. Ina kallon TV, ko ina marking notes na makaranta,sai kawai in ji hannunsa ya rufe gira ta a hankali,ya jawo ni zuwa jikinsa a cikin natsuwar da na fi so.

Ya sankare ni a jikinsa,ya ji ɗan numfashina a saman rigarsa,sai ya yi tambayarsa ta yau da kullum “Did you miss me?”

Kullum tambaya ɗaya.Kamar tambayar sarki.

Amma mijina kenan idan na ce masa da shagwaba “Eh… kaɗan.”

Sai na ga yadda idanunsa suke canzawa,

yadda murmushinsa ya kan yi zurfi,

ya jawo ni sosai a kirjinsa tamkar zai ɓoye ni a zuciyarsa da hannunsa guda.

“Ba komai, Ramlah…”

ya ce cikin murya mai laushi da izza.

“Zan koya miki yadda ake missing husband ɗinki sosai.” Kuma wallahi… ya koya min.A Paris, ba gajiya.Ba hayaniya.Ba tsoro. Ba damuwa. Ni da Asad. Soyayya da salo.

Rayuwar masarauta a cikin birnin masoya.

[01/12, 8:08 pm] Nd: ƘADDARAR RAMLAH

BOOK 2

SHAFI NA ƊARI DA SHA SHIDA

Wannan littafin kuɗi ne, ba kyauta ba!Naira 700 kacal ki karanta cikin salama!

Domin biyan kuɗi:

Acc Name: Bilkisu Sani Kaura

Acc Number: 7040402435 (OPAY)

Tura shaidar biya zuwa WhatsApp:

09030569336 ko 07040402435

Masu son vip 👇Sai ku bibiyeni a

ArewaPEN @nanadiso10

https://www.arewapen.com/book?id=6883f9e574b8ea03fba06ae5

*********

Kuma ni…

na zamo masa masoyiya, aminiya, mata,

da sarautar zuciyarsa, ba tare da neman mulki ba.

*********

Zafin Da Ba a Gani

Shekaru 10 Na Jurewa

Kukan da nake yi yau a bandaki…ba sabon kuka bane. Ba shi ne mafi zafi ba.Ba shi ne mafi tsawo ba.Amma shi ne kuka mafi nauyi,

kuka na goma sha ɗaya cikin shekara ta goma da nake gwajin da sakamakon ya faɗi abu ɗaya NEGATIVE. Babu ciki.

Na durƙusa kan tiles ɗin bathroom ɗinmu

Tiles ɗin suna da sanyi amma ƙasan jikina zafi ne zafi irin wanda baya fitowa daga iska,

baya fitowa daga ruwa, baya fitowa daga waje… yana fitowa ne daga zuciya da ta dade bata samu amsa ba.

Pregnancy test ɗin yana kwance a gefena.

One line.Brown.Ƙarami.Dole ne? Eh.

Amma ga ni ina kallonsa kamar hukunci ne aka rubuta min.

Na dafe kirjina.Na ji kamar an zuba dutsen da ya sha ranaku goma sha hudu a daki.

Na ji numfashi ya rikice.Na ji wata irin gajiya mai kama da karyewa.Shekaru goma. Goma cif. Shekaru goma da nake a wannan gidan da yake cike da soyayya ta gaske. Shekaru goma da Asad yake kula da ni fiye da yadda na taɓa sanin mace zata samu.Shekaru goma da duniya take ganin dariyarmu,

amma ba ta ganin hawayena.

Shekaru goma na addu’a, kuka, sadaka, roƙo, rajawa, naci, fatan sa’a. Shekaru goma tsakanin soyayyar mu da Asad. Soyayya mai natsuwa, mai salo, amma ba tare da jariri ba.

Na san Allah yana gani. Na san Allah baya manta bawansa. Amma yau… zuciyata ta kasa rike wannan nauyi.An ce lafiyata kalau.

Amma jikin nawa shiru. Shiru mai daga hankali.Da ace samun ciki yana dogara da soyayya da ace yana dogara da kulawar miji da ace yana dogara da saduwa da wallahi a yau ina da yara goma sha biyu.

Soyayyar Asad kuwa? Ta wuce misali.

Ya kama ni kamar lu’ulu’un da aka samo daga teku da wahala. Yana ɗauke ni kamar mai tsarki.Idan ya rungume ni, kamar yana kare al’amuran duniya ne. Idan ya saki ni, yana kallona kamar zan ɓace idan ya ɗaga ido.

Amma duk wannan bai sa jiki na ya gina rayuwa ba. Na daga pregnancy stick ɗin.

Layinka ɗaya.Brown.Kamar rana ta bushe.

Na rufe fuska da hannu biyu.Hawayen suka fito ba tare da na nemi izininsu ba.

Ba sauti, ba ƙara.Hawayen ciwon da ba a iya furtawa.Na ce cikin raɗaɗin da ya fito daga ƙasan zuciya “Ya Allah…

me yasa ni?” Na tuna dukkan dukkan ranaku… addu’o’i da na yi a lokacin da rana bata fito ba,sallar dare da na tsaya ni kaɗai,

sadaukar da kai da nai da zuciya ta duka.

Amma yau,shiru ne,layi ɗaya ne,ɓacin rai ne.

Na dafa tiles, na jingina baya da bango.

Na ji kamar duniya ta faɗo min a kafaɗa guda.

Shekaru goma…kuma har yau…har yanzu…

ban samu ba.Rayuwa ta tsaya.Zuciya ta karye. Hawayena suka zubo kamar da an buɗe ƙofa.“Me yasa ba zan iya zama uwa ba…?Me yasa kaddarata tayi min haka?”

Bandakin ya cika shiru.Shiru mai nauyi.

Shiru mai cika kai da roƙo da zafi.

Na tuna Asad wanda bai taɓa ganin laifina ba.

Ya taɓa dafa kaina yana cewa“Babu wata mace a duniya da ta isa ta maye miki guri.

Ko babu jariri, Ramlah…Ni dake nake.”

Wannan kalmar da yake furtawa tana min dadi,amma yau…bata rage zafina ba.Kuka ya sake taso min da ƙarfikuka mai nauyin shekaru goma.Kuka na mace.Kuka na uwa da bata samu zama uwa ba.Kuka na zuciya da tazo ƙarshen karfin ɗaukar raɗaɗi.

****

Masarauta.

kirkin masarauta ba irin kirkin talakawa bane

kirki ne da yake da farashin da ake biya da zuciya, ba da kudi ba.

Da farko suna kula da ni, suna girmama ni gayya da gaske.Ai ni ce zabin Yarima.

wacce yakeji dani ko’ina baya jin kunyar nuna soyayyata. Amma da lokaci ya ja…

da sauran matan gidan suka fara haihuwa,

da yara suka cika harabar masarauta kamar ruwa bayan damina Aliya ta haifi uku, Firdausi ta haifi huɗu,Nawal ta haifi uku…

Sai na fara jin maganganun da ba a furta da baki ba,

amma suke huda zuciya fiye da wuka. “Amarya, ko kin kasa jariri ne…?” “Shekaru goma, har yanzu babu labari?” “Ramlah ki yi hakuri, komai ya yi kyau… jaririn ne ya rage da ya cika farin cikin gida.”“Soyayya ce kawai ai, amma cikin ba ya nan.”

Sannu a hankali suna na ya canza.

Daga “Ranki ya daɗe”,

ya koma“Matar da bata haihu ba.”

“Wadda ta kasa bawa gidan masarauta gado.”

“Ƙaramar mara lafiya.”Wannan kalmomin…

ba su da wuka.Ba su da tsumma.

Amma suna da xafi mai soke zuciya ƙwari.

Hatta Hajja wacce ita ce dariyata,

uwar da na girmama fiye da kaina

ta fara sanyi. Ba mugunta gareta.

Allah ya san ba muguwa ba ce. Amma masarauta tana iya twist zuciyar mutum kamar rawar rake a turmi.Kullum tana ce min cikin tausayi wanda yake dukan zuciya fiye da maganar zagi“Ramlah, ki daure.Ki bar shi ya ƙara aure.Ki taimake shi ya samu yaransa.

Ai aure ba mutum ɗaya ba ne. Amma na ji ta kamar an saka min soso mai kaifi a cikin zuciya.Na yi shiru.Na yi murmushi.Kamar kowace mace da ta saba da zafi har ya zama abokiyar zama. A duk lokacin da maganar “ƙara aure” ta tashi,Asad ya tsaya tsayuwar namiji mai soyayya, ba tsayuwar sarki ba.

Ya ce“Ni ban yi aure don yawan yara ba.

Idan Auren nakeso ai zanyi..Ramlah ita ce raina.Idan na rasa ita, na rasa komai.”

Da yake magana haka,

ina kallonsa ina tsoron abu ɗaya Soyayyar da take da laushi… tana da sauƙin karyewa.

Idan an ja shi da ƙarfi, sai ya fashe.Sai na fara jin tsoron lokaci.Tsoron lokaci fiye da komai.

Paris ya zama mafakar mu.Ba saboda masarautar bata da kyau ba, amma saboda masarautar bata da shiru. A kowane lungu akwai magana.A kowane kwana akwai ido.

A kowane falo akwai sabuwar shawara.

A Paris Na fara business Na kammala masters ɗina Na sami natsuwa Na sami rayuwa mai kyau

Amma wallahi…Kullum da dare…

kuka nake yi kukan da Asad bai taɓa gani ba.

Kukan da na kulle a cikin pillow na,

kukan da na daure ya zama shiru,

kukan da ya zama sirrin da ya fi kowanne sirri nauyi a rayuwata.

A duk lokacin da menstruation ta zo,

zuciyata ta faɗi kamar dutse ya faɗa kan gilashi “Ga wata ya sake wucewa.”

Ina murmushi da safe.Ina wasa da rana.

Ina soyayya da Asad da dare.Amma a zuciya… ina zubar da jinin da ba a gani ba.

Watanni da dama bayan haka,

likitoci daga Dubai suka ce “Zamu yi gwajin IVF, koda yana yiwuwa.”Na fara jin tsoro.

A ranar da muka fara IVF, Asad ya zauna gefena yana rike hannuna yana shafawa Ya ce “Ko menene, Ramlah…Ko yaya sakamakon ya kasance...I’m not leaving you.

Ki sake ki bani zuciyarki. Babu abin da zai rage soyayyar da nake miki.”

Na tsaya a gaban likitoci.An yi min scan.An duba ovaries.An duba hormone.An duba tube.

Dukkansu lafiya. Sai suka fara ɗaukar egg ɗina, suka ɗauki sperm ɗinsa, suka haɗa su a laboratory. Na yi kuka lokacin da aka ce“Mun samu embryos.”Domin wannan shi ne farkon jin na kasance uwa. Suka dasa min…

Sanya embryos uku.Na kwanta a bed mai sanyi, hannun Asad a cikin nawa.

Hawaye suna sauka daga idona.Ya rungume ni ya ce “My peace, everything will be fine.”

Sai aka ce mu jira sati biyu. Sati biyu mafi tsayi da na taɓa a rayuwa.Na daina motsi.Na daina tafiya.Na daina waya.Na daina dariya.

Sai addu’a.Sakamakon ya fito… NEGATIVE.

Wannan bansan lokacin da na faɗi bane.

Sai na ji Asad ya tare ni da hannayensa biyu yakai ni jikinsa da ƙarfi kamar zai narkar dani.

Don’t cry…Don’t you dare cry…Ni dake zan rayu.” Amma kuka ya ci karfina.An yi IVF karo na biyu NEGATIVE An yi IVF karo na uku NEGATIVE Na fara jin kamar jikina baya aiki.

Na fara jin kamar ni ba mace ba ce.

Na fara jin kamar na zama abin tausayi.

Kullum sai in ɗauki wayar Firdausi ko Ayya Aliya, su ce “Ramlah yau Amir ya fara tafiya!”

“Baby Maryam ta fara magana!” “Tahfim ta fara karatun Qur’ani!” Sai nayi murmushi in ce “Mashaa Allah” amma a zuciyata ina jin kamar na fadi a ƙasa na fashe da kuka ni kadai nasam radadim da nakesha..

Bayan shekara ta goma sha daya da aure,

momy, wacce ita ce mahaifiyar Yaya Billy…

ta rasu. Ranar da muka je jana’iza,

Ina taka ƙafata a ƙasa ina ji kamar na rasa wata uwa ta biyu. Rasuwarta ta karamun damuwa sosai..Tasha kirana tace na yafe mata tasha kirana tana kuka tana neman yafiyata.

[01/12, 8:08 pm] Nd: ƘADDARAR RAMLAH

BOOK 2

SHAFI NA ƊARI DA SHA BAKWAI

Wannan littafin kuɗi ne, ba kyauta ba!Naira 700 kacal ki karanta cikin salama!

Domin biyan kuɗi:

Acc Name: Bilkisu Sani Kaura

Acc Number: 7040402435 (OPAY)

Tura shaidar biya zuwa WhatsApp:

09030569336 ko 07040402435

Masu son vip 👇Sai ku bibiyeni a

ArewaPEN @nanadiso10

https://www.arewapen.com/book?id=6883f9e574b8ea03fba06ae5

*********

Ina so mai karatu ya gane cewa Rashin haihuwa ba ciwon mahaifa ba ne kawai ciwon zuciya ne. Ciwon “idan na kalli hoton jariri hawaye ya zubo.” Ciwon “idan na ji matar da ta yi ciki sau biyu a shekara biyu.” Ciwon “idan mijinka yana tare da ke amma kina jin kunci rashin iyawa.” Ciwon “idan mutane suna tsammani ke ce matsala.” Ciwon “idan kowane wata yana wucewa kamar shekarar.”

Ciwon da ba’a kalleki da rahama. Ciwon da ake jingina miki laifi saboda aikin da ba ke kika ƙirƙira ba Allah ne. Ciwon da a kowanne safe sai ki ce “Yau ma babu motsin ciki…”

Satin da na dawo daga ƙasar da nake business, zuciyata cike take da natsuwa saboda ina son in yi girki na musamman a gida. Ina son yin hidimar mijina, ina son in danne damuwa da sabuwar ni’ima, ina son in yi masa sabuwar dariya da zai manta duk hutun da na yi. Amma a maimakon haka…

Na tarar da su Hajja,su Uwargida,su Hajiya Saffiya,da sauran matan masarauta a gidana.

Wannan ba al’ada ba ce.

Ba su zuwa Paris haka sai da dalili.

Na yi murmushi, tausayin addinin da na koyi zama cikin ladabi ya sa na sunkuyar da kai sosai na gaishesu ɗaya bayan ɗaya. Amma kafin in gama magana, hawayena suka zubo ba don kuna ba, ba don rauni ba sai don kuwa gani nayi babu abunda zai kawosu sai cimun mutunci. Hajja ta kalla ni, ta ajiye mayafinta, ta ce “Na zo nakarya wannan asirin da kikeyi. Na zo na gaya miki gaskiya.

Ki bari ɗana ya ƙara aure. Ba za ki cigaba da hana shi yaro ba. Yaransa uku fa! Ana shirin mayar da shi sarki nan gaba!” Na ji wani irin durkusawa a zuciyata. Na tsaya ina kallonta kamar ban da numfashi.Na ce a hankali:

“Hajja… wanne asiri? Na yi miki laifi?”

Uwargida ta ce cikin tsiwa “Laifin ai kin sani! Shekaru goma babu ciki! Shi kenan? Kowa yana haihuwa, ke kawai kike jin daɗin soyayyar yarima? Uban me kike takama dashi ?”Wani cikin su ya ce “Gidan nan akwai wacce ta yi shekaru biyu ƙalilan, ga ‘yan biyu.

Ke fa babu alamar alamun ciki!”

Hawaye suka fara zuba a hankali.

Na ji nauyin numfashina ya yi wahala kamar ba nawa ba. Hajja ta kalle ni ta ce:m “Ni ina sonki sosai Ramlah.Amma ban jure ganin Asad yana komawa gida kullum ba tare da yaro ba.Ki taimaka.Ki bari ya ƙara aure. Wallahi ba don mugunta ba.”

Na sunkuyar da kai.Na kasa magana.

Cikin zuciyata ina jin kamar ana burtsatse ni da hannaye.Sauran matan kuwa suka cigaba da zagina kamar dama suke jiran dama.

Wata tace “Ke matar Paris, ke matar romancing kawai! Kamar wadda take a film ɗin soyayya! Haihuwa fa ake jira!”

Na yi shiru.Na jure. Na rufe zuciya, na yi murmushi da hawaye.Sai suka tafi.

Hajja ta fita da tsaki.Kuka?

Da daddare, Asad yana barci yana rungume dani kamar kullum.Ni kuwa sai na zame jikina a hankali kamar jaririya mai jin tsoron tashi a hannun uwa. Na tashi na tsaya sallah. Sai hawaye ya fara sauka kamar ruwa daga sama. Babu wani ciwo a jikina, amma zuciyata tana kuka kamar an murza jiki da wutar lantarki.

Na furta“Ya Allah ka bani yaro.Ko ɗaya.Ko wacce.Ko namiji.Ko jariri daya tilo…” Wannan karan kukana ya farka mijina.Ya yi saurin mikewa, yafito daga bargo yana kallona cikin duhu.A bayanka ba zaka taba gane irin fargabar da yake ciki ba.Ya taho da sauri ya durƙusa a gabana ya kama fuskata “My Lah-Lah? My peace?Ki kalle ni nan! Me ya same ki?”Banza nayi. Kuka.Na riƙe masa hannaye cikin tsoro kamar zan fasa.Na ce

“Kayyi aure, Asad.Don Allah ka ƙara aure.

Ka samu yaro. Ka samu iyali.Ni zan jure.”

Na fashe da kuka.Na durƙusa ƙasa na rungume shi kamar wanda ya ɓata mafarki.

Shima ya durƙusa ya rungume ni sosai sannan ya ce “Karki sake gaya min maganar aure.Karki sake gaya min karin mace.

Karki min wannan masifar, don Allah.”

Na ce a hankali,“Na gaji da zagin mutane.”

Kamar na zuba masa acid.Kamar na sari zuciyarsa da wuka.Ya tashi daga kasa ya durƙusa sosai, daga nan ya riƙo ni da ƙarfi kamar zai nutse a jikina.

Ya fashe da kukan da ban taɓa ji daga gare shi ba.Babban namiji.Yarima.Mai masarauta.

Ya durƙusa yana kuka kamar yaro. “Ramlah ki daina.Ki daina min wannan kalmar.

Wannan kaddara ba taki ba ce… tamu ce.Ni ba yara nake nema ba.Ni ke nake nema.”

Ya sanya hannayensa biyu a kaina ya danne fuska yana goge hawayena da kirtani.“Don Allah ki daina tunanin barina.

Wallahi ina mutuwa akan hakan.”Sai ya kwantar da ni akan jikinsa, ya jingina da bango ya dinga rarrashi da magana mai nutsuwa: “Ki ji dadina.Ki ji numfashina.Ki ji soyayyata.Ki ji rungumata.Ki rike ni kamar zuciya.Ki bari na rike ki kamar rai.”

Hakan ya zama shigowar soyayya mai nauyi.

Sai ya rungume ni sosai, kamar yana son ya shige jikina, sai ya fara kissing dina a hankali sosai ba irin na sha’awa, na rarrashi ne, na kwantar da hankali.

Duk inda yake kissing jikina yana shafa hawaye Yana fadin“I love you I love you I love you And I will never replace you.”

Da wannan rarrashi, ya shiga duniyar romancing, ya kwantar da ciwo, ya saukar da zafi.Ya nutsar dani har na shiga jikinsa sosai.

Ya biya bukatarsa yadda yake so…

cikin tausayi, cikin soyayya, cikin rikicewa, cikin busar jiki.

Sai muka shiga bacci cikin rungumar juna…

Washegari, mijina ya ji labarin wani gynecologist a Paris mai suna Dr. Leon.

Munje.Muka shiga ofishin shi. Ya duba dukkan sakamakon da na yi a baya, ya yi nisa cikin nazari, sai ya ce “Matar ka tana da lafiya sosai.Babu matsalar haihuwa.Amma akwai wani abu mai suna ‘silent infertility’.

Ba a ganinsa da scan, ba a ganinsa da hormone.” Ya ce a sake IVF.

Asad ya rike hannuna yace “Ko me ya faru, ni dake nake.”An sake daukar egg.An sake hada su.An sake dasasu.Sati biyu.Hawaye.Addu’a.

Mun jira sati biyu Na yi addu’a.Na yi azumi.

Na yi sadaqa.Na yi kuka…Sannan satin ya cika.

Asad yana tare da ni a gado.

Hannunsa na rike.

Ya ce “Whatever the result is…

ki sani ni da ke sai dai mu mutu tare.”

Result: NEGATIVE.

Na rushe .Na makale masa a jiki kamar zan mutu.Asad ya rike ni yana fadin “Ko kisamu k ko yace babu…ni ba zai canza min komai ba.”

***

Na roki Yaya Billy ta bani ɗaya daga cikin yaranta tace “Ramlah, ni zan iya baki…

amma uban yaro bazai taba yarda ba.”

Babu inda nake jin dadi sai a wajen mijina babana, yayyena da Nawal Su kadai basu taba zagina ba.Sun rike ni kamar zinariya.

Firdausi…Firdausi da na ɗauka kamar ‘yar uwata… ta zama mai mun gori

Ranar da ta faɗi haka zuciyata ta riƙe.

Ta ce a fili ba tare da kunya ba“Aunty Ramlah, har yanzu shiru?Shekaru goma… kiyi haƙuri ki bar Yaya ya cika burinsa mana.”

Kalmar ta yi min kamar an buga sandar ƙarfe a zuciya.Na kalle ta da idanu masu cike da hawaye, amma ban yi magana ba.

Ina komawa daki sai na zauna ƙasa na jingina da gado ina hawaye.

Hannuwana na girgiza suna rawa.

Na shiga taɓa ciki na, Na furta a hankali“Idan kudi ne suke bada haihuwa da tuni nayi haihuwa har sau… nayi shekara goma ina zubar da million-millions… amma yanzu na gane… akwai abun da kudi basa bayarwa.”

.

Asad ya dawo da fuskar da ban taba ganin ta ba fuskar yarima da aka hada tsananin haushi da tsananin kauna cikin mintuna ɗaya.

Hannunsa riƙe da jaka ɗaya ya shigo babban falon, yana cewa da murya mai zurfi:

“Duk wanda ya sake furta kalmar gori a gidan nan… zan hukuntashi matata ba sa’arku bace ba.”Firdausi ta yi shiru kamar an ɗora duhu a kan kanta.Hatta Hajja idanun nata sun cika da firgita.Asad ya tsaya a gabana.Ya kamo hannuna ya ɗaga shi sama kamar yana rantsuwa a gaban duniya.

Ya ce cikin murya mai kaifi “Wannan matar Ramlah ita ce masoyiyata, ita ce abokiyata, ita ce iyalina.Duk wanda ya tsane ta… ya tsane NI.”

Ranar da na kira Abba, tunda ya ji kukana sai ya yi shiru.Ya ce a hankali cikin murya mai kauna“Auta… ki barshi Asad ya kara aure mana.”

Na yi dariya cikin hawaye.

“Abba… ni zan hana shi? Ni wace ce?”

Ya ce,“Saboda kina so ki ga farin cikinsa. Kuma shi namiji ne… mai iko… mai kudi…”

[01/12, 8:08 pm] Nd: ƘADDARAR RAMLAH

BOOK 2

SHAFI NA ƊARI DA SHA TAKWAS

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*********

Na ce cikin murya mai nauyi “Abba… shi ya ƙi.Ni ban isa hana shi ba. Idan ya tafi ya yi aure yau gobe zan masa addu’a.”

Abba ya yi shiru.Sai ya ce,“To ki rike addu’a, Auta.Ki rike hakuri.Allah ne kawai yake bada haihuwa.”Na share hawaye.“Ina yi, Abba… kullum ina yi.”

Asad bai je falon baki ba.Bai zauna da Firdausi ba.Bai saurari kowa ba.

Ya shigo dakina.

Ya same ni ina zaune a ƙasa, hannaye na a jikin kirjina, idanuwana sun kumbura.Ya durƙusa a gabana. Ya rufe fuskata da hannunsa ya dora goshinsa a goshina.

Ya ce cikin murya mai taushi,

“Na tsani ganin ki kina kuka saboda wani.”

Na girgiza kai ina kuka.Na ce cikin murya mai tsami“Asad… ni ba zan iya ba… ban hanaka aure ba. Ka kara aure manaka samu yara, ka samu gado, ka samu farin ciki…”

Ya dora yatsarsa akan lebena kamar yana hana kalmar ta fita.

Ya ce “Na ce ba zan kara aure ba. Ramlah, bana so. Ina son ki.Bayan ki babu wata mace da zata shiga rayuwata.”Ya jawoni jikinsa yana rarrashi.Dumin jikinsa ya zama kamar wuta mai narkar da baƙin ciki.