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KADDARAR RAMLAH BOOK 1 PAGE 46
.....yes, look at Khalil. I have been dreaming about him for two days. I don't think so, by the way. He said, God willing, I will go. we went to school. Abba always gives me two thousand, but the truth is they don't believe me. What about our school, no matter how expensive it is. Did you buy water for ?500. Meat pie even up to ?1,000. But I have to manage. Sometimes I have to eat once a day just to have enough food. I started collecting my change and I saw that I needed to fix my body and I also needed the money. Lecture? The first time we entered in the morning, I just sat with my body as a woman. I couldn't concentrate. I feel myself like a hot sausage, nothing is coming into my ear. Next, my soul is full. I don't think so. In class, I look at people, some are big people with make-up, some are laughing, some are playing TikTok, and some are quiet and studying. The truth is that the university is not what I expected. This is where you will see discipline, this is also where you will see laziness and shamelessness, even among teachers there is no such thing. As for the second lecture, I personally know that I only sat because everyone else was sitting. I couldn't understand anyt
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Gaba ?aya cikin satin nan, da ?yar nake yin komai. Kaina yana ciwo, gabadaya jikina ya gaji, wani rashin kuzari ya shige ni, sannan kaikayin gabana bai bari na huta ba. Kuma fa idan na cire pant dina, wani irin wari ne mara da?i ke tashi wallahi bana wasa bane ba. Haka nake ta mamaki, ko dai kowace mace haka take ji? Ko kuwa ni ka?ai ne nake fuskantar haka? Gaskiya ban gane ba, sai dai nake ta tunani.
Kai yau kuma! Na tashi da safe da ciwon kai, sannan ina da lectures biyu, ciki harda na lissafi. Wannan lissafin kuwa ba ?aramin daure min kai yake ba. Na gama girki da safe, koko da kosai kawai nayi, na ci kadan sannan na je dakin Abba. Na ce masa, Abba, kaina na ciwo sosai. Wallahi bana jin da?in jikina.
Shi kuwa sai ya ?auko min Paracetamol ya bani, yace, To ki sha, zai taimaka. Na kar?a da godiya, amma a zuciyata nace, Da ace zai ce na je asibiti ma, ai zai fi. Amma shikenan, na sha, na shirya, na fice.
Ina fita, na kira Musa, na ba shi ku?in mota, nace, Dan Allah ka je ka dubamin Khalil. Kwana biyu kenan ina mafarkin shi. Bana jin da?i wallahi. Yace, To In shaa Allahu, zan je. muka tafi makaranta.
Abba kullum dubu biyu yake bani, amma gaskiya ba su isheni komai ba. Makarantar mu fa, komai tsada. Ko ruwa ka siya ?500 ne. Meat pie ma har ?1,000. Sai dai in yi managing. Wasu lokuta sai na ci abinci sau ?aya a rana kawai domin ku?in su isa. Har na fara tara Canjin nawa dan naga ina bukatar gyaran jikina ina kuma bukatar kudin.
Lecture ?in farko da muka shiga da safe, na zauna ne kawai da jiki a mace. Na kasa mayar da hankali. Ina jin kaina kamar yana zafi sosaj, ba komai ke shigowa cikin kunne na ba. Gaba ?aya raina ya cunkushe. Ina jin ba da?i. A class ?in, sai kallon mutane nake yi wasu manyan mutane da make-up, wasu suna dariya, wasu suna buga TikTok, sai kuma wasu masu nutsuwa suna karatu. Gaskiya jami a ba irin wacce na zata ba ce. Nan ne zaka ga tarbiyya, nan ne kuma zaka ga lalaci da rashin kunya, har cikin malamai ma ba a rasa irin hakan ba.
Lecture na biyu kuwa, ni da kaina nasan na zauna ne kawai domin kowa yana zaune. Na kasa gane komai. Kaina na ciwo, ciki na yana juyawa. Ko magana ban iya wa. Har mamaki nake yi yanda wasu ke iya daukan waya suna dariya a class, ni kuwa ba zan iya komai ba sai zuba ido.
Bayan lecture muka fita waje. Na tsaya gefen wani shago, na siya ruwa ?500. Sai na sha kadan, na yayyafa sauran a fuska. Na samu wuri na zauna a ?akin karatu, na duba diary ?ina, na fara rubuta "Ya Allah, ka sau?a?a min. Ka bani lafiya. Ka cire wannan wari, wannan ciwo da wannan damuwa. Kar ka bar ni a haka, don ban da wanda zan fa?awa."
Har na zauna na rasa mafita. Ina jin kamar in kira Abba in gaya masa komai, amma sai na fasa. Kuny ta lullubeni Zan kira in ce masa, Abba, gabana yana kaikayi kuma wari yake ??? Ai kamar raina wa mutum hankali ne hakan da kuma kunya ai. Kuma duk lokacin da ka fa?a masa wani abu mai sosa rai, sai ya ce in sanar da mumy.
Kullum na nafi son zama ni ka?ai. Idan lecture ya ?are, sai dai in je ?akin karatu ko in yi tafiya ni ka?ai. Wani lokacin kuma ina jin kamar in yi kuka. Amma ina? Ko kuka ba zai canza komai ba.
Yanzu haka, ina tunanin mafita. Kwana biyu kenan ban iya yin karatu da kyau ba. Bacci ma ba kamar yadda na saba ba. Ina mafarkin abubuwa iri-iri. Na rasa damuwar da ke tattare da zuciyata. Har Khalil da na rabu da shi kwana dayawa, yanzu sai mafarkinsa nake.
Wannan makon ma, na kasa kammala assignments. Gobe zamu gabatar da presentation, kuma har yanzu ban gama slides ?ina ba. Sai dai na dinga duban wasu daliban da suke da ?arfi, sukan zo suna nuna mana cewa komai is easy. Amma ni nasan ba komai ne easy a wajena ba.
A makarantar mu, akwai abubuwan da sukan faru da sai dai mutum ya kalle su da ido, ya ?auke rai. Amma zuciya tana cike da ?orafi. Wasu malamai a makarantar, wallahi, Allah ya shirya su. Duk lokacin da suka shiga aji, ba abin da suke nema illa 'yan matan da suka fi kyau ko shigar zamani. Suna latsa ido kamar ba malamai ba. Za su je su tsaya kusa da mace, su fara magana da murmushi, su ce suna yaba mata da ?o?ari, amma ashe wani abu ne suke nema a bayan kalmomin.
Wani lokaci har suna ?aukar lambar waya suna cewa zan taya ki da tutorial , amma gashi kafin a jima sai su fara neman saduwa da daliba. Idan kin ki, sai su fara ba ki low marks, su hana ki shiga exam ko su ?i amincewa da assignment ?inki. Gaskiya wannan ba gaskiya ba ne, kuma haramun ne, amma babu mai magana saboda tsoro.
Wasu daga cikinmu kuwa Allah ya kyauta sai su ce ai dama shi ne hanya. Sai ki ji yarinya na cewa, Ko na fa?a masa no, sai ya ba ni carry over. Na fi so in bi shi in huta. Wannan kuma abin tausayi ne, saboda sukan cutar da kansu su yi tunanin suna samun sau?i, amma ba su san cewa rayuwarsu na ci gaba da lalacewa ba. Da yawa daga cikinsu, ba su da burin kammala karatu da mutunci. Yanzu sai dai shigar jikin yara tops da wando ?ato suna zagaye makaranta kamar gaban mirrors. Wasu suna selfie da cinyoyinsu kawai suke so su nunawa duniya, ba ilimi ba.
Gaskiya rayuwar daliba mata a jami a da wahala. Idan ba tsari da zuciya da hankali, sai ki lalace. Idan kuma kika tsare kanki, sai ki zama kamar bakya cikin system. Kullum sai kowa na cewa ke serious ce ko kuma ke religious ce. Amma sai da irin haka ne ake tsira.
Ni dai na bar kaina cikin tsarewar Allah. Dan yanda nake ji yanzu ciwon kai, wari, kaikayi, da rashin lafiyar da bana fahimta na fi bu?atar kulawa fiye da komai. Sai dai, wata sabuwa fada tsakanina da mumy jiya da dare. Tun safe banjin da?i ba, amma ina kokarin dafa abinci. Sai mumy ta shigo da masifa, tana cewa ke bani dankune na dakika daukai. Na tsaya ina kallonta, ban ce komai ba. Tace ni kike wa shiru? Nace, Wallahi mumy ba haka bane. Wallahi jikina ke ciwo. Amma ban daukar miki ba Ba Ta ce, To ni ?arya nake yi kenan? Kawai kina so ki rainani! Nayi ?o?arin bada ha?uri, amma ba ta saurare ni ba. Tana zuwa ta zunduma min mari.
Gaba ?aya na rikice. Idanun nawa suka cika da hawaye. Jiki na babu ?arfi, zuciyata kuma cike take da ra?a?i. Nace, Wallahi Mum, ban da lafiya ne. Kika ma sake kallon jikina zaki ga...
Amma kafin in ?are zance, ta zage ni da kalmomi masu zafi. Tace ni ban da tarbiyya, cewa ina neman maza ne, cewa na gaji da karatu sai bariki. Wannan kalaman da marin suka fi duk ciwon da nake ji.
Na koma ?aki na kulle kaina. Na zauna ina kuka. Kukan da ban iya bayyana shi ba. Nace, Ya Allah, me na yi? Lafiya nake nema. Ina wurin da ba wanda ke fahimta ta.
Daren jiya ban iya bacci ba. Na yi ta tunanin rayuwa. Shin haka ake rayuwa ne? Ko ni ka?ai ce nake cikin wannan bala in? Gaskiya ya isheni.
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